my sanctuary.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

2010-10-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

Came across this sometime ago on one of the fore-mentioned blogs. Think everyone should read it.

------
Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony.

This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
-----

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Basic Blogging School.

2010-10-26T06:40:00.008+08:00

Day 27 in wallaby.

After reading many inspiring blogs, i figured i should finally, for real, get back into the groove of blogging.

After many rounds of blog hopping, i realised that a good or popular blog survives for one of the b/m reasons:

1. It contains lotsa pictures.

They say a picture paints a thousand words. So i guess it really saves on the typing while at the same time painting a very pictorial representation of your experiences. Nothing expresses a great morning than a picture of a beautiful sunrise. i.e. V0n's

2. It is rich in literature.

My personal favourite. And im not saying a extremely wordy blogger. In fact less is more. i marvel at people's ability to use little words to express much. I'd say my command of english is not too bad, but reading some of these blogs makes me feel depressed and inspired.

Depressed because i regret not paying more attention to reading and writing skills from younger days. Thankfully enough for the plethora of reports i used to have to muster during conscription, i still maintain in contact with the language.

Inspired because i resolved that i will never be able to write like them. Language proficiency comes from a lifetime of practice and sharpening. Its a culture, a lifestyle. Its the people your converse with, the family you are brought up in. Evidently, being of neighbourhood upbringing, my command of the language is not spectacular. Back at home, mummy speaks mandarin and daddy speaks english, so it has made me rather bilingual. Though i absolutely hate the written form of the chinese language, i'm glad i'm still able to converse proficiently in mandarin. Nevertheless, the sheer vocabulary available to the above-mentioned bloggers astound me. Time to cultivate a lifestyle of reading.

One example is Stef Sun's.

3. It is absolutely interesting and insightful

Its amazing how they can turn daily family/mundane events into a post so enriching, you wished you were them. With the help of skillfully taken photographs and carefully chosen (albeit simple) words, they just seem to brighten your day. Life doesn't seem so bad after all. Case in mention: Edmund's

4. It is absolutely thrashy.

Ironic as it seems, the more thrashy a blog, the more you'd like to visit just to revel in mockery. Not much needs to be said. Seeing is Believing.

A reasonable (re)opening post for my blog? I shall commit myself to keep this place alive. At least 1 post/week maybe? It's a good avenue for me to express all my pent-up energy that i can't put in 150 characters. It'd serve as a good reminder of my juvenile thinking process in time to come. At the same time i promise not to plague my blog with poorly mustered language nor mindless reports of daily activities.

Wallaby up in next post.

Got a good blog to recommend? Leave a comment!

From A Faraway Land.

2010-06-10T15:24:00.003+08:00

Have too much to say, but twitter only allows me 120 characters. That's when i suddenly remember i own a blog.

My first post from a foreign land. Feels strangely familiar to be back here for the 3rd time. It's sop different to be in the shoes of a trainee vs a Officer. The flight here on business class (benefits of command) was great. Impressive leg room, luxurious seats and a very confortable blanket. Unfortunately comfort was short-lived; within 2 hours i was in Don Muaeng.

Arrived on Friday morning and immediately got to work. Spent the entire weekend recceing the place. Thats an average of 2 rounds around Singapore daily - its huge here. We took the opportunity to exploit the cheap local food and produce. As this place is rural, all shops are roadside; a plate of noodle costs approx $1.20 SGD and a watermelon costs 50cents. Im not even gonna go into the price oif ciggarette and beer.

Our hosts here are extremely hospitable. they are familiar with our training needs and accomodate to us. Communication is a problem though. Other than "turn left, turn rigbt, go straight and where is the toilet", i knew next to NO thai. However, i picked up some key words with the help of a handy guidebook and i can now count from 1 - 99. This helps me to fluently respond when asked of my age. The rank structure here is very different from that of our country's. Im probably the youngest thing around. My Thai driver is 52 (My dad's age) and my liason is 42. Yet they humbly accord me the respect that my rank entails. This forces me to think like a commander, not a teenager. Well, part and parcel of leadership and command.

The weather, however, is much less hospitable. I wake up to a sweat-soaked bedsheet every morning. 1 would sweat even on the way back from a shower. This is despite the daily afternoon showers, which only contributes to the humidity, and not the tem perature. Nevertheless, it did not stop me from climbing eagle hill 6 times this week. i feel fitter already.

1 week down, 11 days to go. Missing the church very much. Its regrettable that im not able to be physically around to stand with the church through trying times. Having full faith in the church and her leadership, looking forward to return to good news. Standing in the gap spiritually from xxxx miles away.

Im proud to wear green, but can't wait for it to be over.

Ending my 50baht/h internet session now. Hope to blog again soon.

THIS IS YOUR SAVIOR – City Harvest Church

2010-04-05T01:33:00.001+08:00

(Verse 1)
They shouted “crucify”
As He stumbled on road
Weight of the world, all the pain
The cross became His Load

(Verse 2)
They shouted “crucify”
As he climbed the lonely hill
Bearing the shame and the mocking crowd
While heaven and earth stood stil

(Verse 3)
They put a crown of thorns Upon His bleeding head
Whipped Him as He struggled on
He uttered not a word

(Pre-Chorus)
He was innocent, yet accused and blamed
Sent to save a fallen world, to bear all our shame

(Chorus)
This is your Savior
Pure Love of Heaven
Sent to Die on Calvary, to bear the sins of all
Rejected, cursed to die, Love silently Endured
His blood poured out an offering
At the foot of the Cross

(Bridge)
For the brokenhearted
For the poor, the weak
For the blind and searching
He shed His Blood for you and me

Piracy

2010-02-19T15:33:00.001+08:00

Why Piracy thrives:

Attend C.

2009-08-11T19:31:00.001+08:00

Took me real long to pluck up the courage to come back here again. Desperately trying to think up something interesting to write about, but there really almost is none.

Today’s the last day of my ridiculously long 7 day MC. I feel like i’ve ripped the army off to take a nice break for myself. 7 days is pretty substantial considering that most block leaves don’t last more than 14 days anyway.

Dang now i feel it. The enormous inertia that is preventing me from getting back to camp. Loads of work and mugging and tests for me to cath backon when i get back. Gonna be a crazy week.

The last couple of weeks at Nee Soon has been fun. Combat Engineers offer a wide range of interesting stuff to learn (and mug for). Beats chiong sua-ing hands down. Poor Infantry Cadets will be flying off to Brunei for JCC pretty soon. I hope they all get back in one piece.

The ultimate plus-point for Combat Engineers is the friday bookouts. Of course, a little compensation required by doing e-learning on saturday mornings. IMO, a small price to pay for the added freedom. But all in all, the extensive mugging required, weekday or weekend, can be quite taxing. On some days, lectures can start at 8 and end at 6. We mostly all get slain when it comes to tests. Hah yes, welcome to the Army.

3G Army, 2G soldiers, 1G equipment. Thus is the current state of the transformation. Not too bad a time to be serving NS I would say, but I sure hope 1G will be a thing of the past soon.

SOT graduation this Sunday. Really proud of all them students. While I led a relatively carefree life, they took on the challenge of a not-so-relaxed school term. Kudos to them for having endured all the way – of course not forgetting the chao recruit who fought hard, although in the end he was forced to withdraw.

Shux. Sunday got Army half. Basket. I really pray I can make it in time for grad service.

Goodbye Foxtrot, Goodbye SAFTI.

2009-06-25T01:07:00.001+08:00

People say this blog stale already! No choice ah. Army computer cannot use to blog. Later kena caught by MSD den good game already!

Well finally reached the end of a 14-week ordeal. Service Term ended with a overnight route march. And as usual all OCS ceremonies like to have abstract inklings to it. This time round we were brought up to the highest point in Western Singapore, overlooking the industrial area. There, in the blizzing morning freeze, we were presented with our postings and our senior bar.

So I've been posted to Combat Engineers! Not my first choice posting, but its great anyway cause Engineer Training Institute is at Nee Soon camp, which is 15 mins away from home! This is in comparison to SAFTI, which is 80 mins away by train!. Ain't no coincidence baby! How else can life get better?

So anyway, in the midst of being desperate for sleep, we were told to pack immediately for Brunei; and we're flying in 4 days. What a surprise farewell gift. It was almost mission impossible to squeeze all those items into the luggage, but we did it (after many ardous hours of hard work). Off it goes to cargo complex!

Well the last day at Foxtrot was not easy. Bidding goodbye to a home of 14 weeks brought back many memories of the undulating journey i took to get here. Saying farewell to the Infantry stayers was harder than i thought it would be. In the end, we sang the OCS song for the last time as we marched away from wingline, leaving people like Elton, Jun Hao, Glenn, Thommy, Yi Rui and Hassan. Emotional sia...

Life in CE better be good... Im not in the least prepared to fly to Bruinei on such short notice. But oh well, this is the army... Suck thumb and do only...

So im out for the rest of the week in prep for brunei. Signals crash course at Stagmont tmr. In the meantime, on a rare wednesday night out, let me entertain you guys with a video of a dance that is sweeping asia by storm.

Warning: Catchy tunes and addictive dance moves. Viewer descretion advised.

God's Chisel.

2009-05-22T22:07:00.001+08:00

What an awesome video. Its worth ur time!

A Price to Pay.

2009-05-01T03:31:00.001+08:00

price

–noun
the sum or amount of money or its equivalent for which anything is bought, sold, or offered for sale.

free⋅dom

–noun
the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: He won his freedom after a retrial.

They say there's a price to pay for everything. How true. But undoubtedly there are some things that are simply priceless.

What is the value of freedom? Money can save you time, but time lost cannot be bought back.

Then again, the value of something depends on how much of it you already have. Freedom is a entitlement to many, but a privilege for others.

And what if someone else paid the price of your freedom for you? Surely that price He paid was is priceless.

sorry if u dun understand nuts bout what im saying. Just a deeply etched rant after a hectic week.

Here we go again.

2009-04-19T18:56:00.001+08:00

Quick thought before book in.

My first trip down to town after ONE MONTH. This is ridiculous. Well nothing much has changed, except that time seemed to be on an accelerometer.

I have 168 hours a week, 36 of them belong to myself. I am paid S$1.30/hour and I am my country's asset. Yeah it pretty much makes sense -> asset = sucky life.

I no longer know where home is. Maybe it is simply where my physical body is. Perhaps the concept of a home doesn't make a difference anymore. I stay at JooKoon and I live in AngMoKio. can't figure? Neither can I.

I'm already counting down to book out. 6 more days and i'll be through, 7 more days and I'll be back again.

Life is full of ironies. It hits you when you least expect it, at a time you least want it. It stirs your mind and disrupts your spirit. It makes fun of you in the most interesting ways.

book in lo.

shit-spewing toilet bowls and pee-reflecting urinals.

2009-04-11T02:37:00.001+08:00

Basically my title sums up my past 3 weeks at the new place. There is something about confinement that makes you stronger, and perhaps numb-er.

Life in the new place is basically like Uni, less the fun and the breaks. Mad rush for lessons, mugging, self study etc. Every now and then u get to go out to 'enjoy' the greenery, then you come back to your hostel-like accomodations and repeat the cycle the next day. Also, I feed mosquitoes full-time and train to be a soldier in between.

Allow me to lament that the food here is good, but you have absolutely insufficient time to savour it. Most of the time you finish your food before you even figured out what you were eating.

In anycase, thankfully, I have access to facebook and my phone. However bad the day may get, u can always get back and find out who's commenting on ur emo status, or call someone and complain.

Pardon me for my lack of details, there's this pseudo secrecy such that you don't talk about what your not supposed to be talking about in places where you shouldn't be talking, like this. But like I said, its pseudo.

Well Im gonna have to stick through 35 more weeks of this, no two ways about it.

p.s. The toilet bowl REALLY spewed shit. it was like fondue.

p.p.s. I hope I don't get into trouble for the pictures. It was Family visit day..

sing till the cows come home.

2009-03-16T04:01:00.001+08:00

Block leave day 5 of 12 - fatigue

Kboxed for clarence's 21st. Sang till (near) fulfillment. The member package was a good deal. We ended up paying only $14 for 5 hours of singing - a steal I would say.

Well singing (or belching) was in a way a good form of pressure relief. But 2 consecutive days of unfulfilled martell promises is bad. Now I dream Martell.

7 days left of my last 2009 break. I hope I make good use of it.

whowhatwhere

2009-03-15T02:46:00.001+08:00

Block leave day 4 of 12 - Half-heartedness.

Been arnd with 3 groups of friends today, but i would say the time we spent sucked. I feel I wasted the day.

Suddenly 23rd doesn't seem to far away after all. i MUST make something out of my longest break in NS.

Everyday I love my phone even more. plusone for my iPhone.

Its strange how its so easy to help someone pick him/herself up but its so hard to practice what you preach.

Its funny how human beings refuse to learn until they have fallen.

Its interesting to see people in love.

Hello world.

2009-03-13T02:37:00.001+08:00

Block leave day 2 of 12 - Recovery.

Picking up the pieces from a very messy week. Lots more work awaits to be done but its a good start. See, you gotta choose the right companies and the right activity. Today I learnt that money can't buy happiness.

Trying to reconnect to a world I grew astranger to. It's funny how you once thought it was your world but when you leave and come back, u find yourself hard to fit in. The lingo, the topics, the jokes; I think I need some getting use to.

Sometimes its good to be dissatisfied, but be careful for it not to turn into greed.

POP lo.

2009-03-12T04:51:00.001+08:00

Block leave day 1 of 12 - bad day.

Did a survey, damn its darn true.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

try it and tell me.

Army? What Army?

2009-03-06T03:05:00.001+08:00

My first post after what seems like eternity. Sorry to all (if any) who still checks back here. Well, you see, in a week of 7, the army takes 6 and leaves you with half, with the other half wasted on stupid things like getting home from a remote island. So half a day isnt actually alot for you to accomplish alot of things. Blogging will definitely not be a priority. But since A's results are tommorow, i should probably put a record to today before anything changes.

Time spares no man, Im now 4 days to POP. 13 weeks whizzed passed just like that. I lost 3 kgs, some brain cells and a bit of hair, but gained some muscles, made some friends and acquired some social skills.

Accomplished some goals, made some achievements; but the greatest achievement comes in overcoming yourself. When you pushed on though your physical self refuses to budge, when you made the right choices even though its not the choice you want to make, when you fought on though circumstances proved impossible, when u strived on even though you were the last man standing; that's what sets you apart.

I dare say that the amount of military knowledge I acquired is minimal, but the lessons I learnt from communal living and interaction are boundless.

Became more patient and peace-loving, more acceptable of people different from me, and learnt to be humble to the unhumbled. It's no wonder people say BMT is the most memorable part of NS; it is your last chalet. Here's to a greater regimental year ahead.

they say in the army...

2008-12-27T13:58:00.001+08:00

so i didn't really slim down, instead, i gained. shux.

army's kinda fun. lotsa admin time, lotsa senseless fun. of cos it really depends on the people who make it happen. With a tweak in the minset, u can either be basking in the glory of pulau tekong resort, or be suffering in the confines of tekong prison.

also army's lotsa training; social training. Where u REALLY meet ppl from different backgrounds and characteristic culture; fellow recruits and trainers alike. You can chose to continue on your path, condemning everyone else who is different from you; or you can learn tolerance, and practice acceptance. I thought i had a large threshold for differences, until my patience was tested.

I guess we all grow in our own ways, but im sure im gaining more than just muscles.

11 December 2008, Thursday

2008-12-11T03:07:00.001+08:00

Ok so in the end, I didn't write the suicide note. (duh)

Its 3am and i just finished packing my stuff. Am gonna smuggle some katjes and crackers in =)).

Im slightly excited about the whole army thing, but i know im gonna miss many stuff. Family, church, friends, going online, eating FAT FOOD, and of course, my pink I/C.

Haha yeah people tell me I look patriotic in this picture, with the short hair and all.

so its goodbye pink I/C and hello 11B!

I'll be back on probably 24/12 (xmas eve). In the meantime, you can still sms me, i'll just reply at night or something. Here's to a slimmer Chee!

Dear World,

2008-12-06T03:06:00.001+08:00

"Dear World,

Im sorry this had to come at a time like this. But there's no way to delay this anymore.

Unfortunately, the society I live in does not allow me to escape the harsh fate of conscription. Thus, i figured that the only way out is such.

Sorry to all those whom I have yet repaid my debts. I will plead God to pour out a little more unto your life when I meet Him in a while.

In the mean time, don't miss me. Im leading a better life up there, and the standard issue white robes here beats the pixellated green hands down.

p.s: please don't bury me at cck as I do not want to be haunted by the frequent gunshots from the nearby firing range.

with love,
Me."

-----------------------------------

I'm sure that if I show the officers a written letter like this, it would be able to defer my enlistment for quite abit. But well, you all know I'm not like this. Hahaha... Wait till i show my Mum this; she'll first get a shock, then later decide to really actually kill me.

Oh well im 5 days away. Can't say im esctatic, but i guess its not that bad. Free slimming and body building + actually get paid for it. Beats all that gym membership ;-)

Meanwhile, im enjoying life; sleeping till the sun don't shine and eating like there's no tommorow. This is what life should be like huh?

eleven.

2008-12-01T01:37:00.001+08:00

Today, i tried to access litespeed. there were only 2 notices about scholarships and a message from sumone trying to sell her prom ticket(obviously a dumb choice of media). I guess i never really liked litespeed cause it only spells trouble and work.

11 days away till i depart to fulfill the higher calling. time is not enough.

Postpone can?

post busyness blues.

2008-11-27T01:50:00.001+08:00

Well exams are over, im done with 13 years of education at last. Just pulled through a hectic week at AC (it was a blast!) and chalet back to back. Im finally back home at my computer desk. After spending an afternoon napping and refreshing facebook upteen times, i've alr run out of things to do at home.

its 1.40 am. im craving for dim sum. im scrolling down my online contacts for kaki. conclusion: lester is a sad boy...

what's the use when u have all the time in the world when u have no one to spend it with? people are either in camp, still mugging or have to work tmr. While some others have happily gone overseas (yes, YOU) or i simply don't have the courage to sms.

what has one year done to me?

i only have 15 days left. where are you?

It Is Finished!

2008-11-19T03:09:00.001+08:00

finally, after 3 years of suffering, it is officially over. the thank you list is so long, it'd have to come another day.

now that im done with studying, its a weird sense of loss. i'd better enjoy this feeling of "nothingness" before it runs out. well, i wun be studying for the next 3 years, prepare to become STUPID!

For now, there's hardly a breather; as in a few hours time, it'd be the start of ASIA CONFERENCE!

Man i sincerely can't wait. wayyy tooo exciting. 5 days of back to back power-packed action. WHOO.......

Im ready, are you?

NO mood for NOn$en$e

2008-11-11T17:19:00.003+08:00

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

One day you send a letter to your boss:

Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport, including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

The next day, you received this letter of reply

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections, things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

------------------------------------------------------

Just finished Econs essay: 7 down, 3 to go.

It's all within reach now, can you feel it?

I can almost smell freedom (and yes, abit of tekong as well).

2008-11-03T00:29:00.001+08:00

Culmination of 3 hard years. The time is finally here, and in a whiff it'll be over. So for all u prayer warriors, get ready!

This week:

Mon - GP, Geog
Tues - Maths P1
Fri - Maths P2

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement. I WILL bring back a good report =))

time to make it all worthwhile.

the time has come.

2008-10-30T00:25:00.001+08:00

Oh look what came in the letter box a few days ago.

And to my greatest horror:

11 Dec 2008! that's awfully near! NOOOOO!!!!!

and guess what i'll be in for?

New ~~ugly~~ army fatigues! With new LBV! look like "metal gear" sia.

more pics here & here.

Oh man... I dun wanna do PTP! But that means I'll have to pass napfa by 26th nov. mission impossible!!! lotsa gym sessions required (and thats on top of mugging)!!

Well one thing's for sure; i'd rather slog it out with the maggots then face my notes =((

down & out (nearly)

2008-10-20T01:49:00.001+08:00

man its one helluva upward struggle. 14 days away but all i have are these shitty feelings inside. Where's the momentum? where's the inspiration? where's the motivation? I need more than encouragement.

God has really been good. He's been picking me up time and again this whole week. But somehow, after all the building up, one event will just come and tear it all down. And the cycle repeats, and repeats. I jusy need that one touch that will last me through. I need to get out of this swamp. I need to see the light.

And when a cup's simply not enough.

Don't try this at home.

2008-10-16T13:12:00.001+08:00

Want some iSmoke?

D-Day - 20: Prelude

2008-10-14T02:14:00.001+08:00

the bugle sounds, the door flings open;
theirs hearts stopped for the moment.
and in the square 'twas silent as night;
there hardly was a motion.

like pins they stood in their trembling boots;
it was to miss the mood.
and in the distant, the sound of their mission;
they prayed as hard as they could.

and one by one their names were mentioned;
a ticket to the newton.
and off to war the soldiers trekked;
each guaranteed a no-return.

Hazard.

2008-10-06T21:13:00.001+08:00

Lull period again. See Von? i beat ur SGD$0.14 record. Now i dun even have enough to make a phone call. Oh well, when u hit the lowest, you can only go higher.

Been buzy (trying to be) mugging. Pretty stressful when u see that the countdown is at 22. Somehow my engine is not running at capacity since prelims. MOTIVATION! Where art thou?

Before i end, here's why you should not use cellphones in class.

CHC - KL

2008-09-25T15:36:00.001+08:00

Hosted the dance team from CHC-KL over the weekend. Had so much fun with them, despite the fact that we only spent 2 days together. They were really a fun bunch. Looking forward to seeing them again come Asia Conference!

Me picking them up at the airport.

Here's the team of 5 dancers, 1 beatboxer and one button-presser! (LOL)

Sarah - The soloist

Kellz the taxi

Markie the taxi driver

Dennis

Adam the dance leader.

Shawn the beatboxer

Zia Hau the button-presser. LOL his job was to press 'play' for the music. (and he's also the staff attached to take care of the team)

Us backstage@JW waiting for PK and concentrating on the sermon.

OK maybe not so. haha.

The crew at the hotel lobby after the first day of performing.

Where they whiled their time away before their evening flight out.

Thanks guys for spicing up my weekend! Really been a joy to host you guys. We'll meet for dinner again in november, and don't forget to bring me more chewing gum! ;-)

Here's the video of their performance at service 4. cant deny that they were really awesome. Enjoy!

And here's what you do when u have a amazing talent for beatboxing and extra time to spare at the hotel.

Bye Kenny!

2008-09-22T13:27:00.001+08:00

OH MAN!!! what an exciting week it has been. Kenny farewell + My birthday + PRELIM COMBO + Exciting visitors from KL!

after not blogging for a week but yet never stopped taking photos, it'll take some time. Kenny farewell first!

Kenny + Joy

Kenny + HanYong

Kenny + Me!

Kenny + Karen

Kenny + Weng

Kenny + Sam + JingLong

Kenny + Clarence + Quelyn (kenny no flow sia.)

Kenny + n233 (hanyong extra! lol) Black is coolios!

Don't cry lah!!

Kenny, don't you forget us in Canada! Especially after we chionged that sweet video for you! See u in Christmas!!!

The solution to your frustrations.

2008-09-13T03:32:00.001+08:00

Things Lester would love to have this season =D :

iPhone Armband *I NEED this to get myself running again*

Sennheiser Neckbands

Maestro SD-2

A black chrome watch

And other things include Crumpler, GAP pullovers, Espirit tops, EdHardys tees, ZARA outerwears, Topmans etc.

I need clothes - badly. A vest and a couple of tees and shirts would be good! I average a L for tops. Shoe size 12. Waist 33 (don't laugh).

What season you say?

Kodak Moment

2008-09-11T02:43:00.001+08:00

Hah this was so long ago. What a kodak moment. I didn't even see it coming(click to enlarge). Hope you have a good laugh.

Dun see the joke? OPEN YOUR EYES!!!

Vessel

2008-09-09T02:15:00.001+08:00

ves·sel [ves-uhl]–noun

a person regarded as a holder or receiver of something, esp. something nonmaterial: a vessel of grace;

D I S C personality.

2008-09-04T03:45:00.001+08:00

Dominance: To the point, decisive and bottom line oriented. These people tend to be independent and results driven. They are strong-willed people who enjoy challenges, taking action, and immediate results.

Influence: Optimistic and outgoing. They tend to be highly social and out going. They prefer participating on teams, sharing thoughts, and entertaining and energizing others.

Steadiness: Empathetic & Cooperative. These people tend to be team players and are supportive and helpful to others. They prefer being behind the scene, working in consistent and predictable ways. They are often good listeners and avoid change and conflict

Conscientiousness: Concerned, Cautious & Correct. These people are often focused on details and quality. They plan ahead, constantly check for accuracy, and what to know "how" and "why".

I think im totally S.

Ok I lied.

sian TTM.

2008-09-03T10:53:00.001+08:00

Lester shouts out to Jehovah Jireh

Eh, dun leh....

2008-08-30T04:21:00.001+08:00

I don't want a JC life yah........

RiverWalking

2008-08-27T23:42:00.001+08:00

Mugged @ riverwalk again. I was craving for some tapioca chips; BUT LO AND BEHOLD!!!:

I was so dissapointed, so I turned to other vices:

Looks like mugging was only part of the agenda.

We decided to do abit of destress after BS so we went across the river to:

Man were we hungry... Within a flash, this was all that's left:

And after the food is gone, ppl start doing funny things:

and with all that aside,

Countdown to PRELIMS:

8 Hours!!!

RiverWalked

2008-08-26T02:06:00.001+08:00

Another Day of mugging at riverwalk. Today I FINALLY got to taste the Fish n Chips i have been craving for for the longest time @ Fisherman's Wharf.

WengLok's hand spoiling the pic.

the Riverwalk gang today; Santy, Gwenboy, Me, Weng, Sam.

So after a long day of mugging, Weng, Sam and I decided to destress abit and take a walk. We passed by the bridge at Espladane Drive and I was captivated by the scenery of the lights reflected off the water surface. Somehow or rather, I have never noticed the reflections to be so beautiful before. Especially the Flyer.

Oopps, think my hand shaked, but reflections aren't meant to be clear anyway.

Geog Mock tomorrow, and I'm one more day nearer to Prelims

Breakthrough!

2008-08-25T01:23:00.001+08:00

What a tiring but AWESOME day today. Got to face one of my greatest fears in ministry: escorting PT.

Well I don't know since when I had developed such a strange fear of him. Its really fine to hear him preach and in fact, I really love his sermons; but up close and personal - erm, someone else can?

Well today HAD to be the day. I was supposed to be doing something else but God had set me up! Someone else had covered my original duty and thus, I was assigned to PT.

I was really hoping it to be a regular service weekend but it certainly turned out not to be so. To say the least; he had a REALLY REALLY busy day today; bad news for me cos that meant more work and more interaction with him. When I thought everything was over after service, PT turned and ask: "Can you be my runner for the rest of the day?"

I can't figure whether I felt fear or honour - but a thousand thoughts certainly transited through my mind. For 9 solid hours; I was going to stick to him like glue. There was alot of travelling, alot of squeezing around the massive crowd, and alot of other runner-related jobs. In exchange for a once-in-a-lifetime chance to sit at the front row seat beside pastor for a movie, I found myself running lights, sound, stage, security and PA for the screening. He was the key man for the event today; so that meant my margin for error was thinner than my very own skin (ok actually my skin is a bad analogy).

Well anyway, it was extremely nerve-wrecking as we all know how much the sightest detail could make a huge difference, especially by his standards. But thank God, the day ended w/o any hiccups; I did all that I had to do w/o any major mistakes, and more importantly, I OVERCAME MY MENTAL BARRIER! YAY!

Well God certainly works in ways you least expect. And He will refine when you are least prepared. But thats how GROWTH arises! What a wonderful learning experience it has been today; supposedly my last duty weekend before I go on exam leave. God is indeed ALWAYS ON TIME; He's so amazing, and I can only marvel.

You don't have to BE rich to LOOK rich.

2008-08-23T04:18:00.001+08:00

Look who's got a new toy!:

The queue at comcentre was INBA the last night @ the launch. SingTel certainly pumped in lotsa fund to make the launch a hoo-hah. I personally think they should have pumped in more COUNTERS instead cos we queued for n hours before we got our hands on the baby. But MANY thanks to my siao-on father who insisted and persisted, I'm now the proud owner of this way cool phone, iPod and PDA all-in-one (at a ridculously low price).

And SingTel's got this haolian paperbags just for iPhone products last night. I, being Singaporean, took like 3 of them home:

Unboxing:

YAY!

Yes, go on, Envy Me.

Always Be My Baby

2008-08-19T01:00:00.001+08:00

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

Time No Enough

2008-08-18T01:22:00.001+08:00

The more you try to save it, the less you keep of it. The more you need it, the less you have of it. The more you want it to speed up, it crawls. The more you want it to slow down, it fleets. Who else but your trusted commodity; TIME.

Rag & Flag

2008-08-09T02:26:00.001+08:00

Emo? What emo?

Was at NUS today for Rag & Flag to support Princess Quelyn. Uni life is, well, more than vibrant. Shall let pictures do the talking.

Rag and Flag is like a Mini Chingay at NUS.

Science Fac and Sheares Hall peeps

Sheares Hall cheering

Enthu cheleaders and flags everywhere - reminds me of O1

One of the floats in the background

Temasek Hall had sponsorship from Formula1. The whole Car was made from recycled material.

Sheares Float.

Quelyn; after performance, with makeup falling off.

Met so many ppl from my batch at NUS. And of all ppl, germ tan.

After that i headed to Jelita to MUG! YES, mug...

Yes, I finished all that (I emptied the 2 boxes).

BREAK FAST! Honestly, this picture doesn't do the chicken leg justice. It was huge and full of MEAT! U know the cold storage one?

Within 5 minutes.

BBQ with N178 after that. My hands were too dirty for pictures, but i had fun cooking (and being made fun of) =).

Now to conclude my long day with a good rest... PRATA BREAKFAST TMR! =D

Brokenness.

2008-08-08T01:49:00.001+08:00

Today, i saw Jason Lau's name in the papers. I was ________ (fill in emotion). He got the prestigious SAFOS and he's gonna do sociology at God-knows-which-ivyleague-university. After 4 years he will return with 3 bars on his shoulders to fly that metal bird. Another 4 years and I will watch him fly his plane over my head while i sing <5-stars-arising>. After another 10 years he will decide how much I get for my CPF payouts. No wonder; he was afterall, the RJC SC President. Compare and Contrast? I was overwhelmed with _________.

I can just imagine where the other SC Presidents are headed. And I still remember how we all met at such a exclusive event. We were supposed to be the elites. The privileged ones. A league much envied. The leaders of tomorrow. But unfortunately, leaders need their As too.

Look at them, look at me. I could have been one of them. I SHOULD have been one of them. I am SUPPOSED to be one of them. But I am ___________ (fill in adjective). Where do I fit in? I can't help but feel __________ (fill in emotion). Why the disparity? What are people whom I once aquainted with doing, and where am I now (still)? I feel like a __________ (fill in noun). What have I done with what was entrusted to me? Maybe it really should have been someone else.

I tell myself: "Someday, I will rise from the rubble, and it will be my turn". But will it really?

How did I let it happen? What can I do now? Where is my motivation?

I know this has been an extremely attention-deficient kinda post. But trust me when I say I do not require your sympathy nor your superficial encouragements. I know I will find my way out of this, but I just need to let it out for awhile.

Hopefully this time next year i will look back here and laugh at my foolishness...

Just don't EVER say: "I know how you feel".

deathclock.com

2008-08-05T01:07:00.001+08:00

According to deathclock.com, i will die on

Monday, September 13, 2088
Seconds left to live...

2,527,930,886

LOL.

FOP Part 3

2008-08-04T01:11:00.001+08:00

Day Three - Finale

Ministry was less exciting today but it means things went smoothly - which is a good thing! The finale was awesome, esp when Hillsong + parachute drummers combined. It made me feel like throwing away my tag and to jump with the rest. Hah. Well din stay around long and i departed for home quickly. Cos i know despite what i do or have done, when the clock strikes 8 later, im back to a student all over again.

Freely You gave it all for us
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is the love
Poured out for all
This is our God

FOP Part 1 & 2

2008-08-03T03:02:00.001+08:00

No pictures in the post cos i was wayyy too buzy to be snapping.

Day One

Anyway, went down for FOP session 1 on Friday. It feels nostalgic to be back in the Indoor Stadium, as that place holds significant milestones for me.

Serving at SIS is always exciting as you never know what can happen. I thoroughly experienced excitement cos my duty profile kept changing that night. By the end of the day, my duty covered at least 4 principals (including P.T. - STRESS!) and I had caught less than 5 mins of sitting time. Was really xiong as I have not stood throughout service for a very long time.

Reuben Morgan and the Hillsong team was really good. Esp when they sang Mighty To Save and Saviour King; i could feel the Presence even as i was buzy serving. Parachute band din do too bad with their worship songs either. If only i wasn't serving - it would be so much better.

But all that was made up by an extremely entertaining Rev. Mark and a strong message. And of cos, a nice supper with the security guys @ katong ba chor mee + a free ride home =))

Day Two

Went down to FOP session 2 with N415 after CG. Been so long since I queued up at SIS since im usually always serving. At a point of time the sun got really warm and we were all getting restless from the wait that I really called out in my heart: HOW I WISH I WAS SERVING!! - for then i would be enjoying the aircon in the hall!

Anyway we were finally in. Pastor How was right last night - we always go from Glory to Glory. The only word i can use to describe the atmosphere was AWESOME. Reuben Morgan and the Hillsong team sang all my fav songs from their past 3 albums. The fact that i knew all the songs really helped me to plug in. Esp during "From the inside out" - Reminds me of Joel and Kaiwen. Im really so glad i pre-ordered "This is our God" - their new album.

Anyway here are the songs we sung today from Hillsongs:

Shout Unto God - Look To You
Take It All - Mighty To Save
From the Inside Out - Mighty To Save
Stonger - This Is Our God
Run - This Is Our God
Desert Song - This Is Our God
Hosanna - Saviour King
This Is Our God - This Is Our God

This alone made me declare that im SO SO SO thankful that I was not serving today. I really sang with all my heart and soul today. I gave my best. It felt really good. Its all the more special to me cos im always serving, so i really cherish the opprtunity to worship freely.

If you are interested in any of the songs we sang today and ysd, do PM me =) Or get their titles at most Christian music stores.

So its was supper (again) with N415 + N178 @ newton. Ex, but shiok. I WILL NOT have supper tomorrow.

Last installment of FOP tmr. Im sure it will be EVEN MORE exciting with the "finale" and of cos, with P.K. back =) Can't wait.

take me deeper

Bitter.

2008-07-30T01:03:00.001+08:00

On Jocelyn's notification, I rushed to the hall to see if my wayyy overdue title was realli finally up.

Awesome? Its supposed to be joyous, but i felt more indignant than joyful. I've been waiting for this day for so long. My name is late for 1 entire year. Its supposed to be up since last yr prelims. And they HAD to put ChuYi's name up at the same time as mine. No offence to chuchu though - she's great. I just wanted a little bit more recognition, abit more honour, abit more individuality, abit more than 'just a name on the board'.. Looks like i'll never get to be the "previous" council president.

You'd say im petty, but i'd say you're not me, so you don't know how it feels.

Bitter.....

DNA.

2008-07-27T01:50:00.001+08:00

What if ur DNA was written in HTML?

Everything about you would be mapped out in a mindless spam of alphabets and numbers. Every single detail such as the shape of your nose, the scolour of your eyes, the tone of your skin; all translated into visible, understandable form. It could probably be saved into a thumb drive the size of 32 terabytes.

What if one day you found the password to your DNA? What would you do? What would you change?

Would you edit ur brain power? Enlarge your memory? Double the RAM?

Or would you make your feet smaller? Stretch yourself taller?Modify your complexion?

If u ask me, i'd change metabolism from 60 to 100 or something. Maybe slash stomach capacity by half, and cut weight retention to a fraction. Arms bigger, shoulders broader, and maybe butt firmer? And yes, remove myopia.

But i do hope i dun screw it up. I can just imagine what would happen if I left out a <p> or sth and my DNA would refuse to render.

And then you can imagine the mess the world would be. Thank You God, for not providing such technology.

But besides that, how you live your life is more than just DNA; Who you are, is who you make yourself to be.

Who you should be, is what God wants you to be.

Break? Breakaway!

2008-07-20T03:23:00.001+08:00

Break break break break break break break break... BREAKAWAY!!!

Alright before i can breakaway i first kinda need a break. Tiring week; physically and emotionally. Ups and downs. Oh well, part and parcel?

Brought the cg to play Bball at NY today for fellowship, so of cos i had to show off abit.. Showed them the pic of me on the wallpaper and look what they made me do:

Glory to glory you say? I certainly hope so. Think i have since grown (in places where i shouldn't)..

Anyway, rushed down to expo for Security Training after that. Really awesome; Had lotsa fun trying to handle "flakey" situations, got to reconcile with the team C ppl and a pleasant surprise from the ministry:

Like FINALLY. After 2 years in the ministry, i finally get my tag. It really should have came ALOT earlier but there's always cock-ups and all. Well at least it made me cherish this alot more. It's really hard-earned...

Aight before i doze off on my keyboard, nights.

legend squared`!

2008-07-18T01:08:00.001+08:00

LESTER CHEE

PASSED GEOG!

and there i found You waiting...

Every Little Thing

2008-07-10T21:48:00.001+08:00

Delirious?

Everything must change
There's a mirror showing me the ugly truth
These bones they ache with holy fire
But I've got nothing to give, just a life to live

If your world is without colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright [x2]

There's no-one else to blame
I live my life between the fire and the flame
I've built my house where the ocean meets the land
It's time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand

Let your world be full of colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

When it's all falling down on you
You're crying out but you're breaking in two
When it's all crashing down on you
When there's nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

A Pure Heart

2008-07-10T01:33:00.001+08:00

RUSTY NELSON

A PURE HEART, THAT'S WHAT I LONG FOR
A HEART THAT FOLLOWS HARD AFTER THEE
(REPEAT)

A HEART THAT HIDES YOUR WORD
SO THAT SIN WILL NOT COME IN
A HEART THAT'S UNDIVIDED
BUT ONE YOU RULE AND REIGN
A HEART THAT BEATS COMPASSION
THAT PLEASES YOU MY LORD
A SWEET AROMA OF WORSHIP
THAT RISES TO YOUR THRONE

legend-oh!

2008-07-09T00:03:00.001+08:00

LESTER CHEE

GOT B FOR

MATHS!!

and there's only one person to thank...

Delirious no more?

2008-07-07T01:15:00.001+08:00

http://www.delirious.co.uk/html/

OH NO! This isn't happenning!!! It can't be!!

Listening: Delirious? - Every Little Thing

culminate?

2008-07-07T00:18:00.001+08:00

Enjoying my well-deserved break; Lotsa food, lotsa buzy-ing, lotsa spending... However, its already Sunday and tmr will be kinda my last day of enjoyment befre the routine starts all over again. Sem2 has got new timetable; how exciting. Here's a peek into my exciting sem2 life.

Notice the seemingly thin extra pink slots at the end of each day? DO NOT BE DECEIVED! They are 75 mins each!!! EXTRA LESSONS EVERDAY!!! NOOO!!! Hais. Even size can be deceiving.

I don't want a JC life~~..

Punks? Think again.

2008-07-03T00:18:00.001+08:00

Awesome vid! You GOTTA watch it. Go on and press play. its 4 minutes you won't regret =)

Man you gotta respect the art! Kudos.

Pit Stop

2008-07-02T15:17:00.002+08:00

What a rare afternoon spent chilling at Coffee Bean.

Sometimes taking a break can be as simple as sitting on a comfortable couch, drinking coffee, reading a book and listening to some music. Ironically, we are multi-tasking even when we are relaxing..

Well at least i get to sit down with one mind, without having to think bout plates, integration, kinematics or keynesian theory.

EXAM OVER LO~!

2008-07-02T09:55:00.001+08:00

Hah! Really thank all you guys for your prayers. Prayer really works wonders. PTL!

Anyway, its finally time to chill abit. Though its still gonna be a buzy weekend, at least i dun have my notes nagging at me at the back of my head.

Picture of the week:

A potentially confusing sign! Girls dun scream if you see us coming in! Its blue!

Meaningful Mornings

2008-06-20T01:49:00.001+08:00

There's something about waking up 0500 in the morning.

Where you sit in the train, watching the sky get brighter station by station. Where you see sleepy heads flying in all directions. When you see throngs of people inpatiently waiting for the next connecting train, each carrying a face that suggest the emptiness of mind behind the facade. The routine that they face everyday yet carry out faithfully.

Well they don't really have much a choice. But somehow, you stand out. Along the way, you can't help but ponder over the rationale of your actions. But as you get closer to your destination, you find more people like yourself, each carrying a uniqueness in their disposition.

And you all converge at a common peripheral location, streaming into a humble auditorium; so spacious yet so saturated. You step in and you sense something overwhelming. And you marvel at the majesty.

Thats when you know "I'm here for a reason".

For Richer or Poorer?

2008-06-15T02:57:00.001+08:00

If God gave you $1 for every POSITIVE comment u made about someone, and took $1 away for every NEGATIVE comment; Would YOU be RICHER or POORER?

Phenomena-ed

2008-06-12T14:02:00.001+08:00

Just got back from Camp Phenomena. Man was it awesome. Really learnt alot, and the incredibly late nights taught me how to depend on God. Quote from several campers (at 4am in the morning) : "this camp really not by our strength, but by God's strength."

Anyway, team Asher and Red house realli rocked. Special mention for Shaun Lee, Afred and XiaoShi for their hard work to make the most of our skit and cheers =) Though we did not win any awards, I believe we all felt that we did a really good job. Its not the awards, its the friendships. The whole camp experience was topped with a little surprise at the end. I really did not expect it, but i guess its a mark of a beginning for more exciting things to come =)

During one of the sessions, there was a little skit by our very own members, adapted from the following. It really moved me to tears.

Though its very different from watching it live, i hope it touches you they way it touched me. =)

Tommorrow.

2008-06-04T02:59:00.001+08:00

I wanna mug like I've never mugged before.

However, the mind is willing but the flesh is weak.

Been about some Maths and Econs, but i cant bring myself to touch the dust-laden stack of geography. *fliches*

Well for a start, i read through some lecture slides from 06 and i have this as my wallpaper:

Now say Awesome!

The kids are gonna be back from Aussie soon. I said I was gonna mug so hard that it would be impossible for them to catch up.

Well i'll see that happen tommorrow.

The Duck & the Devil

2008-06-02T15:24:00.001+08:00

I don't normally open chain mails. But somehow, the spirit just led me to read this one.

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.
Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash the dishes'
But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.'
Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?'
So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.'
Sally just smiled and said, 'Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help'
She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several day of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he finally couldn't stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.'

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ..whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!
It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved.
Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today.
Share this with a friend and always remember:
God is at the window!

Im so glad i opened it. What an awesome story right? Such a good analogy. Would you make a decision and confess to Grandma today?

Awesome!

2008-05-27T23:17:00.001+08:00

So its the beginning of a month long holiday!

Sounds like a whole lot of fun huh? imagine all the gaming, catching up, bumming around and SHOPPING i could do.

But NO (this 'no' being the longest, most ridiculous sounding 'no' u've ever heard).... Guess whats awaiting at the end of 1 month?

MID YEAR EXAMS.

Now say someone say "awesome".

Oh well mugging season - lotsa music, lotsa bingeing, lotsa dozing..

And the perfect time for my mp3 headphones to break down.

So im currently looking for a good pair of neckband headphones. Any suggestions? Currently contemplating 2 models, both from Sennheiser.

PMX60

and PMX200

Anyone have experience with the above models? Feedback appreciated =))

a detour to the beginning.

2008-05-25T01:46:00.001+08:00

Well its been rough.

it's funny how they all try to seem to be on your side.

it's funny how they think 2 mornings will make all the difference.

it's funny how they make plans for me, when they don't even know my plan.

it's funny how they want me to lead my own life, when im living it for them.

it's funny how they let me make the choice, when they leave me with no choice.

it's funny how it seems like they are sacrificing for me, when im their sacrifice.

it's funny how they say "its for your own good", when its actually to save their asses.

it's funny how they want to protect me from the others, when they are the others.

it's funny how they think by taking it away from me, i will stop thinking about it.

it's funny how they want me to be mature about it, but the more maturely i think, the more immature the whole thing seems to me.

This incident opened my eyes. I now know who cares, and who truly cares.

how far a mile.

2008-05-22T02:03:00.001+08:00

currently playing: The Extra Mile.

I want this mile to last forever. Can?

supporting documents: Excellent post by XueWei.

invest '08

2008-05-20T23:49:00.001+08:00

31st investiture today. it was kinda fun rushing around, sneaking around, trying to spend as much time with my 29th. hah having them around is just awesome. they make my extra year seem so short.

anyway, its emo days for the 30th. now i look back, we were just like that. but i kinda had a "been there done that" feel today. anyway, what WE experienced last yr was irreplacable, cos we are the 29th =))

Nevertheless, i had SOO MUCH so say about the whole event today. Xue Wei can testify for it. But i allowed myself to cool down. All the things i intended to tell jaime was eventually summed into a simple "jiayou". oh well. i gotta keep telling myself to 'let go'. But sumhow, an inner responsibility is tugging at me. Now i just hope i get to do more for LTC.

i'll go the extra mile, for you.

phew.

2008-05-19T02:25:00.001+08:00

PK: "Im gonna hold it myself; Can't make you guys do it all the time. Obama carries his own bag! ... or else ppl think im dua pai."

Me: *silently* Wow.

What a hectic but extremely fulfilling weekend. Nearly lost my phone in the cab this morning but indeed by His grace it was recovered.

So many new things to learn everyday. enlarging my capacity! education is not a system, its a lifestyle.

so another day of R&R tmr b4 its full swing to mids. HUAT AH!

ooooooohhhhHHH SAH!

2008-05-16T00:59:00.001+08:00

'A' Div Vball finals today. What an awesome match. The whole j2 cohort was down to support. The sight of the no. of supporters was breathtaking in itself. The way the boys thrashed the opponents was even more amazing. me + 29th cheering squad were just getting into the mood of the cheering and suddenly it was over; we had won 3-0.

I can still remember the intensity last year when we were cheering our throats out; hearts pumping in anxiety. The vivid memory of Ben and JS standing on chairs with their white gloves and the rest of us anxiously passing out precious water during the match.

And i can also remember the same time in 2006, or hearts were also thumping; not because of the match, but more because we were conscious of the staring eyes of the 28th (honestly i almost cant remember how the match turned out that year.)

And yes for the 3rd time straight in 3 years, i lost my voice from shouting N*Y*JC**.

Presenting to you the 2008 mini 29th cheering squad!!

Ahh yes, the awesome banner which all schools clamour to use as a picture perfect backdrop.

Honestly, with us around, who needs cheering practice? *ooopss*.

reminisce.

2008-05-13T23:45:00.001+08:00

they say "a picture says a thousand words."

i say; its probably more than words.

Bo Zeng Hu.

2008-05-09T23:46:00.001+08:00

it was "be yourself day" today. one of the messiest day in my 3 years in NY so far. There were nurses, doctors, soldiers, tribesmen, goth, elvis presley, working class, and ALOT OF IJ GIRLS.

And the scariest thing was that they were all running around - everywhere - as though there were no classes. no law. indeed BO ZENG HU.

found a hilarious entry on talking cock ther other day:

-------------------------------------------

Suggested Alternatives to DPM Wong Resigning
Posted on Thursday, April 24, 2008
Topic: Politics

by Kway Png
Maybe the PM is right.
Maybe we shouldn’t be baying so hard for Hum Affairs Minister and Jaga-in-Chief Wongkan Singh to resign for his Ministry’s cockup over Mat Alamak’s toilet break.
I mean, the fler must be so bleddy malu that he’ll try harder than anybody to find Masi Lemak.
But still, how can he just get away so easily for such a large cockup? Must tekan a bit, mah!

We bring you some suggestions on acceptable alternatives to DPM Wong resigning:

1. Make him escape through a ventilation window in the Parliament House toilet. In 49 seconds.

2. Make him squat facing the corner of his office, pulling his ears.

3. Make him wear a bright orange Corrective Work Order jacket and pick up condoms from the beach on a Sunday morning.

4. Rub his nose in the urinal cubicle at Whitley Road Detention Centre, then bop him on the nose with a rolled up copy of the State’s Times while saying firmly, “Bad boy! Bad, bad boy!”

5. Make him eat an entire meal made from Made-in-China products.

6. Hang him by the thumbs, dangling between the Singapore Flyer and the DHL Balloon.

7. Make him watch every single episode of ‘Maggi & Me’ back-to-back.

8. Install an ERP gantry just outside his house.

9. Lock him in a toilet cubicle in Whitley Road Detention Centre together with a cheekopek and a bottle of Power 1 Walnut.

10. Order him to run over and touch the lighthouse on Pedra Branca, then run back.

11. Let Rear Admiral Teo Chee Hean practice his commando dunking technique on him.

12. Have him perform all the stunts at the next NKF Charity show.

13. Better still, have him donate a kidney to the NKF.

14. Allow him to have access to his savings only after the age of 85.

15. Make him eat a big, big bowl of mee siam with hum.

16. Have him endure the air-con treatment made legendary at – where else? – Whitley Road Detention Centre.

17. Have the PM give him one of his legendary tight slaps.

------------------------------------------------------

my personal favourite: no.8. lmao.

poor rich kid.

2008-05-07T23:48:00.001+08:00

ok so ppl think im rich - well i LOOOK rich. reason why i get to own such a atas phone is cos my dad had a HUGE voucher from singtel which u HAVE to use or else it will be wasted and turn into ash or sth - therefore my atas phone (p.s, i only paid 3 bucks for it) conclusion: lester is not rich so stop asking me to treat lunch. lol.

too much stress from work/school? Here's a game that will ~~relief~~ add on to ur stress. ENJOY!

New Found Love.

2008-05-04T22:09:00.001+08:00

Dad had a singtel voucher to spend and VOILA! Was contemplating between the N82 and the LG KS20 but decided i should try something new!

ATAS! Though there's some stigma bout LG phones, i guess u wouldn't really know until you try! Anyway, Tony Stark uses a LG phone too ok? Dun Play Play!

Hillsongs is coming to town!

2008-05-01T01:16:00.001+08:00

WHOA! This is so exciting. New Creation is bringing Hillsongs to Singapore!

http://www.thezone.org.sg/main.html

unfortunately, its happening on 24th May.. ahh its gonna be a buzy day...

Weight Of The World - Planetshakers

2008-04-26T13:18:00.001+08:00

The sweetest sound, I've ever heard
The sound of heaven calling out, to me

Before I ever called Your name
You gave Your life for me
And all the things I'd ever do
You took upon the cross

You took the weight of the world on Your shoulders x2
You did it all for me x2

The greatest love I've ever known
That you would give Your life to set me free

Before I ever called your name
You paid the price for me
And all the things I'd ever do
You bought a covering

You took the weight of the world on Your shoulders x2
You did it all for me x2

You take me as I am
Into Your new scarred hands
And when I run so far away
You always call me back again
Into Your open arms
No matter what I've done
Amazing grace has found me here
Because of what You've done, for me

You took the weight of the world on Your shoulders x2
You did it all for me x2

a joyous surprise.

2008-04-20T00:20:00.001+08:00

http://married180408.wordpress.com/

Congrats Lin Lao Shi! Though its quite a stunner. =)) I guess i'll be seeing more of you around in church =)))

Pastor Tan looks cute in that pic laa~

191 days to go.

2008-04-19T23:28:00.001+08:00

Its so hard to mintain discipline to update. However, i decide that i dun wanna look back at this blog sometime in the future to find chuncks of my past missing.

Its been a good week! For once after a long time, I put a conscious effort to push away lotsa commitment, in exchange for more "Me" time and "God" time. Been really fulfilling as im spending more time on work. =)

College day todae. Im glad i went (despite the fact that i really did not want to see some people receiving some award due to some corrupt reasons). My ego doesn't want me to admit it, but today, i was inspired by Chia Bing Qiang. Next year this day, i wanna be damn sure i'll be there on a invitation.

-----------------------

Out with cunzheng, jhonny, ziwei and von todae. And we had real deep topics over dinner. Im proud to say that im not politically apathetic (just inactive). But talking bout stuff like these makes u pause think and wonder. Also, its good to review and take stock every now and then. Maybe someday i'll set time to note down the minutes of today's discussion =)

so thats one day down. 191 more days to go =)

Rounders.

2008-04-13T00:58:00.001+08:00

Yet another hectic day todae.

Started off at LTgallery. Twas quite interesting to see how land transport in sg has evolved. Their plans for the future get me excited, but we'll see how many will actually come to pass.

It was pouring disasterously when we were about to leave and there was no sheltered walkway!(so much for commuter connectivity). Anyway, had to call for backup! Daddy came to pick me (yeah, spoilt brat) and he told me that the LTA site is actually the old KK hospital! Apparantly, he and all my aunts and uncles were born there, eons ago. According to dad, the structure is still the same and he was happily telling me how he was running around which corridor how long ago, and where the doctors hung out last time. Its a pity cameras weren't commodified much earlier.

CG and rounders after that; totally a xiong game - but it was so much fun. Rushed down to Angie's and we had so much fun gossipping(favourite pastime) bout council and murderer-ring. In anycase, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE! Hope u enjoyed the surprise though i almost spoilt it. =))

Thought of the week: Obedience is easy when its convenient. What happens if God wants you to part with something more than you are ready to sacrifice?

peektures.

2008-04-09T16:01:00.001+08:00

More photos from level camp! If im not wrong, this was end of day1.

Jo'an

"EH YOU! Paparazzi!"

Jolly times. Amal looks like he's singing; I can't rmb.

Dejection?

Apparantly Shy..

Just ugly

Uglier.

Caught in the act!

Friendships last forever,

And ever.

HAAHA! i was randomly snapping, and i caught xuewei flying past my lens! (how scary) - anyway, thus the awesome hair.

It took amazingly long to drag everyone out of school to finally a not too far away dinner escape.

HoR! Eat sommore!

EMO?

"Gossiping about me?" Jinfa's as cute as ever. Who could tell he's alr 20?

We made a challenge - that whenever my lens were set on her she must pose.

And therefore... (p.s I have many more germainetans in my com, but lets just keep this blog PG.)

"and thats my macdonalds! =)"

reminisce.

2008-04-08T00:57:00.001+08:00

I was once again brought to near tears when xuewei sent me this picture. Other than the fact that I looked perpetually in pain, it reminded me of the fact that there was a time where i carried a backpack and wore a nomination tag that says "A15", with only the college crest on my left collar.

And there was a time when we were truly young and innocent, literally having fun taking pictures on the field, posing and pinching each other (i believe the hand on the right belongs to annaling), all unaware of what the future held for us.

hell did we not realise that we were gonna be in for a jolly ride.

and i do realised i looked alot younger. p.s. pic taken in 2006 april.

more lvl camp pics when i get the time.

we're indeed more than a student body - we are family.

Familiar Faces

2008-04-02T01:31:00.001+08:00

Level Camp was like a month ago but exams and a spoilt com prevented me from uploading them pics. Took a whole bunch of photos so im gonna have to split them up into several posts. Trust me, there are ALOT of them. all the more trigger happy when im using a SLR! hah. Special thx to NYps and Mr Lau for kind gesture.

In part one of the __ part photo series, i shall feature familiar faces - mostly 29ths =))

And the favourite number of the day is...

Ok Alvin, that doesn't quite make it, but im just gonna give it to you.

"Eh! Don't take!"

"Aiyah, Whatever lah"

Acting Shy?

Don't mess with PTE Liew!

Couple??

"Take other ppl! Don't take me!"

"I say don't take lah! I Shy!"

"K lah, I take with you, don't shy ok?"

"Oei Eva! Do work lah!"

"Yah man, look at me! I'm doing everything"

"Who say? I'm doing my part"

"Shux, i better not be caught slacking"

PTE Ang! Is that attire allowed?

"Hehe, don't tell MP ok?"

And a few more classic ones to end the post.

Gary

Bings

Ben

Gary again

Shuen

Bings again

And the one that makes it all possible.

Thats what i call experiencia.

this is an update.

2008-03-30T22:39:00.005+08:00

I'm seriously out of ideas with regards to how i should blog.

I mean i look and my blog and i tell myself i wouldn't spend 30seconds in this place if i weren't me. There's nothing interesting, not much to look forward to. There's just a random combination of unimpressive words that don't make much sense.

Other than the fact that i got badly sunburnt + hideous tan-marks, i guess life's pretty as it is. Maybe in the first place, Im not an interesting person?

Okay, not true. My life is so interesting i wished i had an i-Ming to record down every single second of my life. But i just don't want this to turn into another diary. And also, with the increasingly hectic schedule, it is becoming harder to commit to a consistent posting. Its like there are so many more important things to do, like gaining a new level on viwawa.

Okay, again, not true. life is about more than viwawa. Its about experiencing first hand the tangible presence of God. Svc today was just amazing. His presence was irresistable. Well at least i felt that this was important enough to deserve a mention here, that i may look back sometime in the future and remember this awesome day.

Ok this has been a completely uncoordinated and random post. time to ~~viwawa~~ prepare for school tmr!

self note: level camp pictures next post.

Back; Bigger, and Better

2008-03-26T00:02:00.003+08:00

IM BACK!

After 22 days of being com-less, Im finally back!

I have a million things i want to blog about but i think it'll just be too taxing for me to recall them all. In anycase, im glad that in exchange of my 17" I now own a 19".

Slacking began last thurs and ends this week, thanks to my extremely crammed exam timetable. I just pray that results would be good. Even if they aren't, I have the packed schedule to blame. (ok im so gonna get lectured if amy hears me say that)

Caught Vantage Point 2 days ago. It uncovered my secret ambition to be PM Lee's bodyguard. ANYWAY, it was an awesome film. All you action film buffs don't you miss it. =)

officially (dis)integrated

2008-03-03T23:17:00.005+08:00

Apologies to all for being without an update. Just really been too lazy (and sick) to do so.

Been really down recently. Bouts of flu, cough, intense muscle aches and what nots. Think my body's disintegrating; much a result of intense integration last week.

AND, BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE NOT HEARD, LESTER CHEE PASSED INTEGRATION.

FYI, to say that i suck at integration would be an understatement. According to AMY CHIEW, if I pass integration, A levels no problem already.

So do I deserve an off day or what?

Ok not really, but i self-declared anyway. Thats exclusive of the fact that im REALLY still (semi) sick today.

-----------------------------

Seeing some of the fellow 29th relive level camp is awe-inspiring. Self-realisation helps us see how blessed we all are to be part of something larger than life. To all level camp facils: Never ever shortchange ur mentees-to-be; give back to them a multiple of what was given to you. You guys will do a great job.

Ah how I wish I could be there.

--------------------------

I think im gonna be comp-less soon. The CPU's making funny noises. Not funny as in laughing, funny but as in funny, funny. It sounding like... like an... like an weary old woman mumbling to herself while attempting to jaywalk at a buzy trunk road.

Ok bad analysis. But besides that, my screen flickers periodically, at varying intensities. When its bad, you can hardly see. Strangely, its often fine at night.

I think its on drugs.

我懷念的

2008-02-27T00:42:00.002+08:00

我懷念的 - 孫燕姿

我問為什麼那女孩傳簡訊給我
而你為什麼不解釋低著頭沉默
我該相信你很愛我不願意敷衍我
還是明白你已不想挽回什麼

想問為什麼我不再是你的快樂
可是為什麼卻苦笑說我都懂了
自尊常常將人拖著把愛都走曲折
假裝了解是怕真相太赤裸裸
狼狽比失去難受

我懷念的是無話不說
我懷念的是一起作夢
我懷念的是爭吵以後還是想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空最緊的右手最暖的胸口
誰記得誰忘了

想問為什麼我不再是你的快樂
可是為什麼卻苦笑說我都懂了
自尊常常將人拖著把愛都走曲折
假裝了解是怕真相太赤裸裸
狼狽比失去難受

我懷念的是無話不說
我懷念的是一起作夢
我懷念的是爭吵以後還是想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空最緊的右手最暖的胸口
誰忘了

我懷念的是無言感動
我懷念的是絕對熾熱
我懷念的是你很激動求我原諒抱得我都痛
我記得你在背後也記得我顫抖著
記得感覺洶湧最美的煙火最長的相擁

誰愛得太自由誰過頭太遠了
誰要走我的心誰忘了那就是承諾
誰自顧自地走誰忘了看著我
誰讓愛變沉重誰忘了要給你溫柔

我懷念的
我還有想要愛你的衝動
我記得那年生日也記得那一首歌
記得那片星空最緊的右手最暖的胸口

我放手我讓座假灑脫
誰懂我多麼不捨得
太愛了所以我沒有哭沒有說

There's something hugely addictive about this song. Been listening to it the entire day and i cant get it outta my mind.

Thx for the tags. Proper update when i get the time =)

Integrated? Or Not.

2008-02-21T04:47:00.003+08:00

sinxcosxtanxcosecxsecxcotxdydxtrigofomulaalgebrainversetrigobyparts
substitutionexponentiallogarithmareavolumepowerplusoneovernewpower
upperlimitlowerlimitdxdtfprimedoubleanglefomulacompletingthesquare
volumeofspherevolumeofpyramidmathsdrivesmecrazylikeneverbefore.

This is what maths does to you. Now I have one hour for a quick nap b4 battling the challenges of thursday.

Special thanks to dilmah blackcurrent tea and hillsongs for keeping my head off the table.

Integrating Integration.

2008-02-21T01:21:00.006+08:00

So its Goodbye to Cindy Ong my scandalous friend. Poor her she's gonna be in melbourne all by herself fo what's going to seem like eternity. What to do when ur living in a meritocratic society. Slowly one by one friends leave. Girls are gonna enter uni and boys are gonna serve their time. Tough for poor me who has to mug it out (again) with a whole cohort of highly competitive muggers. But face it, people move on. Even friends have to get on with their lives.

Seeing the 30th running the welcoming today really made me miss the 29th (again). I'll never get tired of missing them, cos they are the ones that revolutionised my thoughts and perspectives. More than anyone else, they are my teachers. Ahh i should really stop talking about them. Gmail's been a tad quiet lately though.

Came home slightly earlier, thinking that i would have abit more time to study for the integration test tomorrow. Honestly, its the only thing thats been bugging me for the entire week as its my weakest topic. Anw, got home, felt abit tired so i took a 'short' nap. The next time i woke up, the sun had already set. The entire room was dark except for the lights flickering from the screensaver. A look up at the digital clock - in BOLD RED the numbers 22:58 loomed over me. Siao liao lah.

So now im here. After settling some stuff and getting blogging out of my mind, its integration till dawn. I just hope the concept of integration will be integrated into my brain before my heavy head gets integrated onto the desk.

The Starthrower

2008-02-17T00:54:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a wise man, much like Eiseley himself, who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?" The young man paused, looked up and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves. "It made a difference for that one!"

You see, what that young man's actions represent is something that is special in each and everyone of us. We have all been gifted with the ability to make a difference. And if we can, like that young man, become aware of that gift, we gain through the strength of our vision the power to shape the future.

disciminatED.

2008-02-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

Look what i found at the bottom of D&D 2008 table form on litespeed.

Important:
1. ......
2. ......
.
.
6. Only current JC 2 students of NYJC are allowed to form members of the table. Strictly no JC 2 repeat students are allowed.

SMLJ? Not that i desperately want to go to the dinner (its at some koyak regent hotel and costs more than our one at marriot - i think), but the thing is there are only like 5 of us around, must they delibrately add a point no. 6 to a mass broadcast just to discriminate the 5 of us? They could have just approached us personally to inform us! And they had to include the word STRICTLY, like as if i will try to adopt a pseudonym and attempt to get in. Urgh. I take this as a personal attack and i am VERY OFFFENDED.

Please do not misunderstand, i take no offense in being disallowed to go. Im just very pissed that they delibrately made an attempt to highlight our uniqueness in a mass broadcast - which was completely unnecessary.

To think we are studying discrimination in GP lecture.

It's hard to be David, or even Superman.

2008-02-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

People tell you: You're not Superman. Unfortunately, one is seldom Superman by choice, but often by appointment. However, He who appoints will also sustain, in that i have faith.

There's so many things i want to accomplish this year. Some carried forward from years ago, some half done, some not even started. However, somehow somewhere i lost sight of the vision. I need to find it back but it requires much more than determination. There's so many things i need to put aside, things i need to get rid off. Easier said than done.

Was reading up abit during my long arduous wait at the polyclinic (which was worth it becaused i earned a 2 days MC). Max Lucado talks about how David faced Goliath.

"So it was, when the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, that David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine" (1Sam 17:48)

Even as the giant approached, filled with confidence David hurried forward to meet him. Instead of fleeing or hiding, David was eager to face his giant. How many of us are even brave enough to look at our problems in the face? Much less be eager to overcome them.

There are so many more revelations from how David slayed goliath but i think this part had impacted me the most.

It's been a phenomenal day today but im ever more ready to face the challenges of tommorow.

Note: If you are interested to read more about how young David killed goliath, the story is in 1Sam 13. You can easily read it online @ www.biblegateway.com. Max Lucado's "Facing Your Giants" available at attributes, and I suppose most other christian bookstores.

Sidenote: Thx loads to Clarence for blessing me with the book =)

blues.

2008-02-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

I sent that pic of the wrecked lambo to STomp and it got published on ST!(Sat's papers i think) Hah. Too bad no cash reward for that.

CNY visiting was a bore. Year by year it just gets more mundane. If not for the Ang Paos, i would seriously rather stay home and play CS - or even to just study. However being around with friends on CNY is a totally different story. Watched kungfu dunk with RK and gang @ AMKhub on fri night; It was a rather silly show but i admit Jay was cute laa. After that chionged down to Cine to catch Sweeny Todd with sop and mixue; Nice, but utterly gruesome-Urgh. Had a drink after that and subsequently headed home to SLEEEEP (got home at like 4.30 am laa, zzzz).

Up early the next day and its visiting with councillors (yippee!). Wei Hao's mum whips a decent curry and we all had our fill early in the morning. After that we went to Veron's and I parted council for steamboat at Edmund's place.

BBQ @ Jay's place later at night. went back and saw all th guys from 4/5 and i realised that i really really missed them. Have been so detached from that bunch for so long. seeing them again really warmed my heart. Though all of us have matured in our own ways, coming together and sharing about our past foolishness is always a pleasure. I really do hope i see more of them in the coming days.

Combined steamboat (Yes, again) with 9 CGs tday at liang seah st. We booked the whole outlet for ourselves and we bussed down aft service. You know when ET zone comes together, you'll hear us from a mile away. We were bloody noisy but that's the kind of atmosphere that binds us. Xiao En must have been so touched to have so many people sing her a b'dae song at the same time. Anyway food was so so. Lesson learnt: nv take 'Ma La' steamboat again.

Stomach's been churning ever since i got home. Im supposed to be doing some econs but- oh well... Maybe i should go on M.C. tmr - post CNY blues.

And i haven got an explanation for being AWOL on Wed. Die ah.

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black

2008-02-08T01:57:00.001+08:00

Its abit lag but I still must blog about this. Recently a variety show in Taiwan mocked at us Singaporeans for our english. here's the clip:

Man Im damn proud of Singlish and Im 100% sure our singlish is more proficient than their "standard english".

Seriously - do they know what they are saying? They can't even address their fansi (fans) properly. This clip realli got me mad.

First they call us peesai, now they mock our english. If one day their bank run out of money i chopstamp guarantee Temasek/GIC will just sit down and laugh. And if one of their poor villages get wiped out by some tsunami, i chopstamp confirm our C-130s will stay in the hanger. And if one day sway sway a taiwanese vandalise our walls, i 100% chop stamp guarantee that even if MaYingJiu come out we will still cane that boy - double somemore.

Before you comment about the speck in your brother's eye, first remove the plank in your own eye.

Priceless Adventure

2008-02-07T01:47:00.000+08:00

Re-landscaping cost: $9,000
New road barricade: $3,500
Car: $1.1 Million

Crashing your lamborghini into the road divider
(and escape alive): PRICELESS

Caught on cam by my dad off stevens road. Looking at the aftermath, driver must have been travelling pretty darn quick. Notice the ravaged metal barricade thingy thats supposed to be by the side of the road. The whole damn thing's wrecked and propped overhead. The concrete thing that's supposed to hold it to the ground now lays lifelessly afar from where its supposed to be.

Someone's getting more than a earful when he gets home.

Larger Than Life?

2008-02-05T16:25:00.000+08:00

Im starting anew with this new address. Putting behind my childish past. Though I know nothings gonna stop them from haunting me someday.

I want to blog but I don't really know what to say. There's so much emotion I want to express but emotions are not words. Or maybe my vocabulary is simply not up to it. I wish I were famous but I'm infamous. I stick out like a sore thumb, like a indian in chinatown or something. I constantly find myself being wrapped up in expectations. As i much as i want to fulfil them, I cant do everything at one go. Suddenly i feel so powerless over the circumstances. I am but one man. Of cos, sermons have long taught me how to believe otherwise, but your worldy self often catches up with you.

No math clinic today. So I'm loitering in the lab waiting for dinner time where i'll meet up n233 and the gang. Work is accumulating but its simply not the right time. I think i need to get out and do something larger than life.

Mengenal-Mu

2007-06-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

Mengenal-Mu

Bila buka mataku dan lihat wajahMu kuterkagum
Bila kulihat hidupku dan karya tanganMu kutersanjung
Kar'na semua yang baik dalam hidupku itulah karyaMu
Kau b'ri kesempatan yang baru

Dan ku ingin mengenalMu Tuhan
Lebih dalam dari s'mua yang kukenal
Tiada kasih yang melebihiMu
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembahMu

當我睜開我的雙眼
仰望主的榮面　
滿心感謝

主因你大能的雙手
改變我的生命　
你愛不變

喔主　
你奇妙恩典
充滿每一天
你的美好作為
讓我
能重新為你活

我願
能更深認識你　我主
我深渴聖靈你美好同在
沒有任何能與你　相比
我願一生歌唱敬拜　耶穌我主

--------------

nope ur not seeing things. its still my blog though its all indonesian and chinese... its the lyrics for a very nice worship song in indonesian. and of cos the translation in chinese. never sang it in english before so i realli dunno... u can find this song on imeem =)

who understands?

2007-06-01T13:28:00.000+08:00

in the sch com lab now. im supposed to be studying but my mind is too burdened to get any work going.

1 year in council, it has been the most exciting but yet to a certain extent extremely torturous. i lost myself in the course, or have i? i've changed to become someone different, sumone more mature, less impulsive, but all these while trying to fit into a stereoype, its stifling. i nv once said it out but i feel that now eveything is over i have some right to let these feelings loose. no one realli understands. no one would noe what its like to live a life that isnt defined by yourself. so much for a cca that lets u decide what u want. i din realli have a say in who i want to be - everyone else decides for me.

no doubt being the president has empowered me to empower others- to a certain extent. but it is truly my regret to not be able to get into the lives of so many others. my contributions- are they really significant? what have i done for college? what have i done for council? who recognises?

i told myself never to look back at council regretting, but now the regrets overcome the satisfaction. i just need abit more assurance and affirmation. it din come. who understandas the pain of being the president? who understands the pain of having to be the bad guy?